The strangest thing happened to me earlier today (aside from kicking the fire water and saying I meant it this time). Continue reading »

2009; Year End Review: Dead Celebrities and a Few That Should Be

2009 was a pretty successful year.  The human race did a respectable job of trimming the fat.  While god stationed himself in a clearing and picked off members of the celebutante herd, we placed bets on when Lindsay Lohan would stick her finger far enough down her throat to just barf up her cervix.  Unfortunately, that never came to fruition but there certainly were a few good ones.  Here’s a list of celebrities that bought the farm and some that should:

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Dear MTV,

            I recently stumbled across the most nauseating display of faggotry that the modern world will ever come to know.  I am of course speaking in reference to the orange skinned media prostitutes on the strange wildlife documentary you call “The Jersey Shore”.  That said, I demand to know where in the fuck you get off.  Observing these cock-gobbling douche bags in their natural habitat was without question the most painstaking experience I have ever endured.  Every moment spent viewing these shameless wops has been comparable to a tedious process of uniformly tearing out pubic hairs.  Unfortunately, curiosity won over.  The Holocaust, 9/11, D-Day, and the Spanish Inquisition can all be put behind us…but this…this is absolutely unforgivable.  I demand that these heathens be immediately removed from your regular programming schedule followed by a ritualistic execution of each and every cast member.  I expect them to be starved, water boarded, deprived of all sensory stimulation, stripped of their gym memberships, blindfolded, and shot like sick cattle.  The primary reason being that they are useless wastes of human tissue bent on clubbing, drinking Coors light, fucking trashy dick pigs, and generally soiling on the name of New Jersey/New York residents.  The pandemic must be stopped and the aforementioned solution is the only vaccine.  Everyday that these snot nosed butt sluts go on living brings us closer to the day of the rapture in which God’s armies will use their bodies as human shields.  In the event that my demands are not met, drastic legal action will be taken on the basis of emotional disturbance and crimes against humanity.

Sincerely,
 
Concerned Viewer

Japanese toy camera company Superheadz is having a launch party tomorrow at the Powerhouse in Brooklyn. They’ll be featuring several wonderful machines including some colorful twin-lens reflex cameras as seen above.

If you’re a fan of cheaply priced colorful 35 mm cameras that produce some stunning images, check out the event at 37 Main Street in Dumbo, BK tomorrow night from 7p.m.-10p.m. Free Japanese beer is nice too. I believe it’s free to get in as long as you send an RSVP to RSVP@powerhousearena.com Asians, photography, music and beer.. your Friday nights don’t get much better.

See you there!

Now, I know I’m nobody. I know that my humble little opinion pretty much doesn’t matter in the big picture, but I have to get this out. I’m sitting at Barbershop studios with Mike (of The Title), and he proceeds to show me this group called Millionaires. Wish he hadn’t. Continue reading »

I would like you to take a look at the picture above…

Now I want you to imagine having to sit in a room with this man and take him seriously for an extended period of time. Continue reading »

I hate the fact that I like MGMT. Continue reading »

In our era of pop-culture it’s becoming seemingly more difficult for people in their mid to late 20’s to run after that mirage of Weezer’s coolness.  Somebody needs to be the one to throw in the towel and I’ve decided to bear the burden.  Listen closely…ITS FUCKING OVER. PERIOD.  Please don’t make this any harder than it is.  I used to like them too but the fact of the matter is that their time has come and it doesn’t look like they plan on fucking off quietly. Continue reading »

Bono’s wet dream has finally come to fruition.

His thirst for blood has become unquenchable… Continue reading »