So in case you guys hadn’t heard, Uncle Fester (a.k.a. Billy Corgan) is tossing his hotdog down Jessica Simpson’s hallway.  Gross…I know.  I didn’t claw my way out of a uterus 24 years ago to see the guy who wrote Machina invade Barbie’s love pie.

Whatever…Anyway, Chris Cornell got super jealous and re-united Soundgarden.  I guess it finally dawned on him that he could have had ALL THIS:

And who could blame him?  What kind of washed up 45 year old would stand idle and watch all that naval lint flash before his eyes?  He’d have to be off his fucking meds.

They disclosed the following:

“The 12 year break is over & school is back in session. Knights of the Soundtable ride again!”

Aside from revamping their website, that’s about the extent of it.  Thanks for the limp-dick indulgence, assholes!  I guess the burning question is whether or not drummer Matt Cameron is still on the payroll.  I wouldn’t exactly shit a racing stripe if he heard Jimmy jumped ship on the Pumpkins and in turn followed suit. I mean do we really give a shit about Soundgarden anyway?  They were essentially a one hit wonder (Black Hole Sun) steering a rickety boat through clouds (Superunknown, Pretty Noose etc.) that didn’t quite provide practice sufficient for facing the deluge that was their own breakup.

Let’s hear a round of applause for Soundgarden!

Cue the sound of a pin-drop.